Who Comes First? A Lesson in Biblical Priorities

Matthew 10:37

"He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me."

Recently, during our Men's Prayer Breakfast at National Capital Bible Church, we spent time discussing a question that is both simple and searching: Who comes first? As we gathered around with open Bibles, we considered the priorities that shape our lives. Family responsibilities demand our attention. Careers require our energy. Financial concerns occupy our thoughts. Personal goals, hobbies, and countless daily obligations pull us in multiple directions at once.

None of these things are inherently wrong. In fact, many of them are gifts from God. Yet the words of Jesus in Matthew 10:37 remind us that even good things can become dangerous when they occupy a place that belongs exclusively to Him.

Family is a Gift from God

Throughout Scripture, God places tremendous value upon the family. Children are instructed to honor their parents. Parents are commanded to raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Husbands are to love their wives, and wives are to respect their husbands. Family is one of God's precious gifts.

Jesus is not attacking family relationships. He is addressing priorities. The issue is not whether we love our families. The issue is whether we love Christ more.

The Danger of Misplaced Priorities

The phrase “more than Me” is the heart of the verse. Christ is not merely asking for a place in our lives. He is claiming first place.

Many things compete for first place. Family can compete for first place. Careers can compete for first place. Financial success can compete for first place. Recreation can compete for first place. Personal comfort can compete for first place.

One reason this passage is so challenging is because the things that compete with Christ are often good things. Few believers wake up intending to place Christ second. Yet over time, priorities can slowly shift. Work becomes more important than worship. Recreation becomes more important than spiritual growth. Family approval becomes more important than biblical conviction. The drift is often subtle, which is why the words of Jesus remain so necessary.

The danger is often not found in bad things but in good things that slowly become ultimate things.

What Does “Worthy” Mean?

The word translated “worthy” carries the idea of being suitable, fitting, or appropriate. The issue is not how a person becomes a child of God. The issue is how a child of God faithfully represents the One he follows.

Jesus is not questioning whether a believer belongs to God's family. Rather, He is addressing whether that believer is living in a manner consistent with his relationship to Christ. The issue is fitness for discipleship, not qualification for eternal life.

This passage focuses on discipleship and priorities rather than receiving eternal life.

Invitation

Perhaps you have attended church for years without ever settling the most important question of all: How can I know that I have everlasting life?

Jesus declared, “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life” (John 6:47).

The Bible teaches that Jesus died for our sins and rose again. Because His work on the cross completely satisfied God's righteous demands, everlasting life is offered as a free gift. The moment a person believes in Jesus Christ for the gift of everlasting life, that person possesses eternal life forever.

If you have never believed in Christ for everlasting life, why not do so today? His promise is certain, His work is finished, and His gift is free.

Exhortation for Believers

For those who have already believed in Christ, Matthew 10:37 presents a different challenge. The question is not, “Am I saved?” The question is, “Who comes first?”

Every believer would quickly agree that Christ deserves first place. The greater challenge is demonstrating that priority in everyday life. Priorities are revealed by more than words. They are revealed by how we spend our time, what captures our attention, how we make decisions, and what we are unwilling to sacrifice.

If someone were to observe our lives for an entire month, what conclusion would they reach? Would they see clear evidence that Christ occupies first place, or would they conclude that something else has gradually assumed that role?

The Lord never asks us to love our families less. Rather, He calls us to love Him most. When Christ occupies first place, every other relationship finds its proper balance.

Bottom Line

Matthew 10:37 is not a passage about obtaining eternal life. It is a passage about the priorities of a disciple. Jesus Christ deserves first place in every area of life. Family is important. Careers are important. Responsibilities are important. Yet none of these things can rightfully occupy the place that belongs to Christ alone.

When He occupies first place, every other relationship and responsibility finds its proper balance. The question that confronted the men at our Prayer Breakfast is the same question that confronts every believer today:

Who comes first?

This post was written by Pastor Freddy Cortez of National Capital Bible Church in Springfield, VA. If you have questions about this post or Christianity in general, please contact us today!